Starry Eyed: Dreaming, Doing and The Fear of Failing | Acupofjessicatedcoconut


Since starting university at the start of the month, my mind has been thrown into this vortex of thoughts about where I'm going, whether I'll be able to do it, what happens to everything else I've always wanted to do and how do I make time for it all. 7 days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes. As each week passes I am one week closer to whatever it is I am trying to get to. That is both such an exciting and daunting thought all at once.
 As some of you may know, I'm studying to become a registered nurse. A 3.5 year course and if all goes according to plan, I'll be a nurse by the time I am 20. It is so fucking exciting, it really is. Nursing wasn't always the dream for me.  I went through phases in my childhood of wanting to be a professional golfer, the most rockin' busdriver ever, a teacher - the list really goes on. But since starting nursing it has all really sunken in, like god dammit I really want to be good at this and to give it my best shot so that one day I can make someone feel better when they are at their worst, or show someone that they are cared for and that they are important when they may not feel that way, care for them when they can't care for themselves. I think that's the cool thing about nursing - yes, you're there to care for people in the medical sense, applying your knowledge to make them feel better. But you're also there to support them and make them feel as good as you possibly can in whatever given situation it may be. It's just all so exciting, thinking about this in the grander scale. If we take a step closer in and look at how the uni experience itself is going, it is quite strange and bizarre at the moment, but then again it is all new so what else should I have expected. I think it's just peculiar because you're going from being in an environment where you essentially know it all and you spend 5 years learning become comfortable and familiar with it all and then all of a sudden you're back to square one. In saying that, it is super exciting. The cheap coffees at uni put a little skip in my step everytime I walk into campus. 
I've also been thinking about photography, and all these creative projects I've been dwelling in my head for so long and how I'm going to make them all happen. Photography has always been one of those things where I've wanted to take it further but at the same time, I'm so worried it's going to fail or I'm not going to be good enough - it's different when you're the one infront of the camera, using yourself as your own muse is easy because you know the vision you've got going on in your head so you have a good idea of what to do to make the shot come out right. I think I've just come to the conclusion that I need to just go for it head first and stop delaying things, because delaying for one week turns into a month and then a year and before you know it I'll be trying to take cool angle shots with my weak knees crackin away as I pick up my dentures that have fallen out of my mouth. So yeah, if any of my pals are reading this and want some funky portraits pls message me and we can suss out a shoot one day because I am so keen to just go for it. 

I feel I have rambled enough, but I love being able to write about this kind of stuff on here- and with that, I'll leave you all with a quote from a book I  read a book a while ago by Brendon Bouchard (it was amazing), and in it he said:

"We have patiently suffered long enough, hoping that someone or some kind of luck would one day grant us more opportunity and happiness. But nothing external can save us, and the fateful hour is at hand when we either become trapped at this level of life or we choose to ascend to a higher plane of consciousness and joy. In this ailing and turbulent world, we must find peace within and become more self reliant in creating the life we deserve"
so pretty much, go out there and kick ass and do your own thang. 


You Might Also Like


  1. Oh i love this post Jess! You go girl! We must have a funk photoshoot when i come back to Perth in my mid semester break! xx

  2. Jess you amazing lil thing, I'm so lost at uni ahhh ( we should hang and have a cute lil lunch and photo date ) xxx