Advice To My Younger Selves


To my 6 year old self - 
speak up
you had so much to say and a world at your fingertips willing to listen and yet you somehow convinced yourself into thinking the world was just a thought destroying, soul consuming abyss where nothing good could come out of it. how could you let yourself think that at such a young age? why did you think that? you've got to believe in yourself more, and that doesn't just mean believing in your future - it means believing you're on the earth for a reason, believing you are worthy of attention and of love, believing you have a voice that can be heard and will be heard. don't set yourself up for a life where you constantly feel you have to bite your tongue.
 breathe - and just speak. 

To my 12 year old self - 
it's a bit of a weird time right now isn't it? i know.
you're starting high school and its so easy to get blinded by the desire to conform. the desire to fit the ideal of the cookie cutter girl that society pushes you to be. they tell you to exude confidence but not too much because then you'll be "asking for it". they tell you that you have to roll your skirt up, tie your shirt so it hugs your body a little better, they tell you to diet so you can look nice in the bathers you spend ages infront of the mirror in the night before PE class, picking yourself apart like youre made of cotton. dont just accept that, dont let people tell you what you should and shouldnt be. you'll realize years later down the track that you've wasted so many years with the wrong people simply because you didn't allow yourself to be exactly who you knew you were. So just be - and be unapologetically. because who the fuck really cares what you choose to do, if it makes you happy and you're not harming anyone else in the process then what's stopping you? 

To my 14 year old self -
it's going to be ok. 
sounds lame and you've probably heard it too many times for it to even mean anything anymore but i'm being serious -  recite this to yourself everyday you're at school until it becomes imprinted in the bones within you. chant it till it begins to sound like your own heart beating. at this point you need to learn to be your own best friend, familiarize yourself with everything there is to know about you and become best friends with it - the good, the bad, all of you. you need to stop seeing everyone as the enemy, and this includes yourself. yes, some people aren't nice and you don't have to associate yourself with them, but you're the only true constant you'll ever have in your life. as much as you may despise yourself at the moment, this is the same you you'll fall in love in, the same you you'll raise a child in, the same you you'll share your last breaths with. so be kind to yourself, it's the least you deserve. please take the time to really read up on the stuff that matters, know what you're entitled to and don't let people silence you just because you think they're better than you. 2 years from now you'll watch a documentary where Alice Walker says "the most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any" and it'll make everything that is happening now make sense. stop letting people walk all over you. stand up for your damn self, stop allowing yourself to become the smaller person in every situation. stop feeling guilty for taking up room, you are matter, you are human - you do not need permission to exist. 

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